A new national anthem, defending Applebee’s and rebuilding the Berlin Wall – Friday comments

summer-of-69

Is there anyone more American than Canadian-born Bryan Adams?

It’s Friday! Time to be totally unoriginal and answer some comments.

By the way, I’m on Twitter, whatever that is.

Dear Bill Legarm. I am slightly offended by your insinuating that Applebee’s restaurants do not offer quality dining. Me and Larry, my husband of 12 years have been going to Applebee’s several times a week for several years. I have always found their entrees to be a delight–especially the “Apple Chimie Cheesecake!” You haven’t lived until you’ve had a log of cheesecake rolled up in a tortilla shell, deep-fried.

-Patti

OK, first of all, Patti, let’s dial down the rhetoric a little here. I don’t dabble much in politics outside of my failed run for the presidency in 2002. … I know hindsight is 20/20, but there were obvious flaws in my attempted bid for the White House, chief among them my proposal to raise taxes so the president would get paid more, my open desire to invade Kentucky and have it wiped off the map and my failure to realize that 2002 was not an election year. But I still challenge the American people to find a better option for a new national anthem than Bryan Adams’ rock anthem Summer of ’69. If we’re all going to stand around at the beginning of sporting events and listen to a song, it might as well be a good one instead of the dumb one we have now about rockets and stripes.

But I digress. You may think that using inflammatory words and phrases like “I am slightly offended” and “entrees” is an effective way to make a point, but it’s not. They just angry up the blood and put everyone on edge. You don’t want to turn in to the Glen Beck of commenters, do you Patti?

Secondly, you’ve forgotten a key step in your Apple Chimie Cheesecake preparation. After the cheesecake is rolled up in a tortilla shell and deep-fried, it is then shipped to a random Applebee’s location somewhere in the country and immediately microwaved. Also, the best way to eat this dessert is if you order via the Curbside Pickup option. They bring the food to your car! No walking needed! If you plan it right, you can actually enjoy your meal without ever standing up. All it takes is a chair with wheels and a car parked close to your door.

Next comment:

WordPress lists automatically generated possibly related posts to your article. I am not making this up.

US and Russia can cooperate.
Obama to Russia: The Cold War is Over.
“Tear Down this Wall”

-Tom

Good catch. But I have three problems with these headlines.

  1. The U.S. and Russia cannot cooperate, not as long as that menace Ivan Drago and his 1,850 to 2,150 psi punch is roaming the Earth.
  2. I didn’t vote for Obama, but that’s really only because I don’t vote. Also, I was scared off by all the vowels in his last name. But someone needs to update him on his current events. The Cold War’s been over since at least 2004.
  3. I refuse to acknowledge a united Germany and have started building my own Berlin Wall in my backyard. Did you know you can order pieces of the wall online? It’s true. I’m trying to order them all.

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4 Responses to “A new national anthem, defending Applebee’s and rebuilding the Berlin Wall – Friday comments”

  1. Polishing my resume for the job hunt « The Life and Times of William J. Legarm Says:

    [...] The Life and Times of William J. Legarm Just another WordPress.com weblog « A new national anthem, defending Applebee’s and rebuilding the Berlin Wall – Friday&nbsp… [...]

  2. The blog is back and I’m running for President « The Life and Times of William J. Legarm Says:

    [...] anyone but those guys. And considering I have experience running for President already thanks to my unsuccessful run in 2002 that was derailed by, among other things, misleading ads by my opponent, voter apathy, and the [...]

  3. The greatest superheroes to ever live « The Life and Times of William J. Legarm Says:

    [...] had other good ideas, too, like the one about a new national anthem, my soon-to-be-hit show Mermen and a Baby, and, of course, my foray into teen [...]

  4. The newest, greatest super heroes « The Life and Times of William J. Legarm Says:

    [...] had other good ideas, too, like the one about a new national anthem, my soon-to-be-hit show Mermen and a Baby, and, of course, my foray into teen [...]

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